I'm a Fighter: Jennifer Dutton

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Cassandra Whitman
  • 354th Fighter Wing
EIELSON AIR FORCE BASE, Alaska --  (This article is part of a series featuring Airmen and their families, as well as DOD civilians who have fought or continue to fight a battle with cancer. To view the previous story, click here.)

Many questions flood the mind for those who come face to face with a battle they never wanted to fight.

"My first thought was 'when am I going to die'?" said Jennifer Dutton, the wife of Tech. Sgt. Fred Dutton, the communications flight chief with the 5th Air Support Operations Squadron at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Wash. "How long do I have to live?"

Jennifer was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer, which eventually metastasized to her liver with two tumors in August 2014. "I had a million questions to have answered and I didn't know where to start," she said. When Jennifer first learned of her diagnosis, Fred was stationed at Misawa Air Base, Japan.

"My initial thoughts were 'I need to go home,'" Fred said. "My wife [who was his girlfriend then] lived in New Hampshire where we both grew up. After spending a month with her, I knew I needed to PCS back to the states as soon as possible."

Fred was able to move through the Exceptional Family Member Program, which he said is something he believes every noncommissioned officer should take the time to research.

"I can't say good enough things about the medical personnel in Misawa and here at JBLM," Fred said. "The EFMP allowed my wife to get the best treatment possible while also allowing us to be together."

Jennifer's treatment process started immediately and still continues to this day. It's been a long journey in testing new chemotherapy medications with a few hurdles along the way.

"My world came crashing down," Jennifer said. "Then I went completely numb. I was just staring at the walls. I had gone from a severe stomach ache to cancer to 'you need emergency surgery' within an hour."

The surgery removed two large masses in Jennifer's colon and multiple lymph nodes. The cancer was gone from her colon, but unbeknownst to the doctors, two tumors had spread into her liver from the colon.

Doctors then prescribed chemotherapy for Jennifer. Since the therapy would extend over a period of time, a PowerPort was installed in her chest, giving doctors direct access to veins for a lower risk of infection.

From October to December, Jennifer received a combination of chemotherapy medicine. One of the two tumors had become inactive and dwindled in size with the other two dwarfing to half. In order to join Fred at his next duty location, Jennifer transferred oncology centers.

Jennifer met her new oncologists in January and received a surgical consult to remove a tumor, but the surgery was eventually deemed impossible due to the tumor being too close to a main artery. Because of this, Jennifer went through radioembolization, a type of radiation that selectively targets liver tumors.

During the remainder of January and into February, Jennifer did not receive chemotherapy due to the move to Washington, which she said resulted in six new tumors in her liver. Once the radioembolization was finished, she started a new combination of chemotherapy. Jennifer went from eight tumors, down to three.

On Aug. 9, Jennifer went to the hospital with a severe fever, shakes and jaundice. One of her tumors grew back, severing the bile duct to her liver.

Jennifer had an external tube/internal drainage system implanted to help drain the bile. Fred said there were problems with this drain every other week, causing emergency room trips, but it worked enough for her bile levels to finally go down.

Jennifer has now started a different combination of chemotherapy medication and based on recent scans, Fred said it seems to be working. A new surgery consult is scheduled to revisit the idea of removing the tumor located close to a main artery.

Throughout her battle, Jennifer explained she has found coping with cancer is done on many different levels.

"Whether it's crying, meditating or reading positive quotes, it's all various forms of coping," she said. Jennifer explained that she researches different aspects of cancer almost every day to help her cope.

"Strawberry cheesecake frozen yogurt with rainbow sprinkles is always a good coping mechanism," Jennifer said jokingly. "And wearing wonder woman t-shirts and socks."

Fred said he doesn't feel it's hard to stay positive.

"I believe Jenn is going to beat cancer and that simple belief keeps my mind focused on the future or any present issue," he said.

However, there was a time when Fred said he lost positivity, but only for a moment.

"Jenn's tumors came back," he said. "I was not able to rationalize why the tumors came back. I reached out to Tech. Sgt. Christopher Ward [the noncommissioned officer in charge of communications plans with the 353rd Special Operations Support Squadron at Kadena Air Base, Japan], who is like a brother to me. He helped me put things in perspective and to realize this may get much worse before it gets better."

Jennifer said one of the most difficult things on this journey is staying positive, but it can be done.

She explained she used to do very well at staying positive during her chemotherapy treatments; she would always go in with a smile on her face and sometimes even a little laughter.

"I'm sure it irritated people," she said. "I know I get irritated when I'm depressed and someone comes into the infusion room all smiles and giggles. There are days when you just can't be positive, no matter how hard you try."

She also said setbacks can be disappointing and all you feel like doing is sitting in a corner and crying; which is something Jennifer said she has done her fair share of.

"You have to remind yourself that it's okay to cry," she said. "Get all the negative emotions out so you can let the positive ones in."

Dealing with this situation can be difficult and Fred said it's tough to watch his wife struggle.

"When the last tumors came back, she went through more pain than I have ever seen anyone else go through," he said. "She was on more pain medication than many of her nurses had ever seen. It was also the first time I saw her outlook on life not be positive."

Jennifer said it's a mental game most days, a day-by-day fight and some days it's an hour by hour struggle.

"My emotions run rampant every day," she said. "Some days I just zone out and try not to think. Some days I just forget I have cancer. Some days cancer invades my every thought and action. Some days I ask 'why me?'"

This is where a strong support system comes in. Jennifer's mom and sisters are a huge part of her support system, as well as Fred. Jennifer also said she has several friends she met on Facebook who are battling or battled cancer, giving her a connection and the ability to talk to others as only as a cancer patient can.

"My husband is my major support system and has been since day one," she said. "I could not fight this battle without him."

Fred's support system looks a little different than Jennifer's. He has his Air Force leadership and shop. They have shown they are there for Fred and Jennifer every step of the way.

"My commander, Lt. Col. Francis Scolaro, has been amazing," Fred said. "His family has cooked meals for us and I can call or text him anytime I need to."

Fred said his supervisor, Capt. Justin Weiler, has also supported him through this difficult time.

"He has allowed me to take extended lunches to go home and get my wife up, cook for her and get her some exercise so she can stay strong and keep fighting."

Fred said his shop has been nothing but phenomenal; when he first arrived at JBLM, he sat down everyone in the shop and explained everything to them.

"I did not want the shop to think I was just skipping out on work, or to hide the reason I could not always be there," Fred said. "They have stepped up and continue to do awesome work day in and day out."

Fred explained because of his situation, he has certain limitations to the temporary duty assignments he can take as well as deployments. Despite these boundaries, he focuses on helping the Airmen around him.

"My main focus in the Air Force now is to develop those around me to excel to the next level and make this Air Force a better place to be and work," he said.

Jennifer said not everything changes with a diagnosis like she has.

"There are still dinners to cook and laundry and cleaning to be done; those everyday nuances are still there," she said.

On the flip side, there are plenty of ways one's life does change despite the "everyday nuances" still there.

"Hobbies have changed," Jennifer said. "Winters were full of snowboarding, summers full of adventures. So far, I've missed a season of snowboarding and I'm about to miss my second season. I miss the freedom of being on a snowboard, carving up the mountain. It is my go to stress release."

Since the August diagnosis, Jennifer said she's spent most of her time either in the hospital or somewhat bed bound.

"With my weakened state, hiking, our fall/winter hobby here in Washington, has been put on the back burner temporarily," she stated. "When I go into remission - yes, when not if - I'm afraid that my everyday thought upon waking up will be has my cancer returned?"

Jennifer and Fred explained how they have grown together through this journey. They have learned, and still learn, what it takes to make it through such a difficult time.

"Grieve," Jennifer said. "Allow yourself time to just grieve and cry and for everything to sink in. Always have someone with you for even the mundane of doctor appointments. Be prepared for the constant reminder of 'you're strong; you can do this' statements. Keep the positivity alive. Keep doing fun stuff. Exercise; even if it's just walking. Research; be informed and then be prepared to be overwhelmed by all of the research, but don't let anyone's opinion rule your life."

Jennifer said she has been fortunate and even feels guilty at times. She feels guilty walking into the infusion center and seeing people with no hair; she hasn't lost hers. She said she feels guilty that she has more energy than some patients.

"By remembering that there are others going through the same fight, others who have debilitating illnesses, those who have lived their entire lives with a permanent illness or disease keeps my life in perspective," she said. "Even though it can feel like your life has fallen apart, that you can't go another day or you get sick of fighting, there are others out there who have it much worse. It's hard to think that way when you're fighting your own battle, but it's something I have to keep in the back of my mind when I'm having that horrible day."

Jennifer remains a fighter.